Jodo
- Thread starter Squilla
- Start date
Ben76!
It really was so hard to choose but in the end Ben's epic tale of Tena Lady, fruit and death won out. PM me your address and I'll get your prize posted to you Sir
A special mention must go to the following members; in no particular order:
@Ben - it would be cool if you could post a picture of you with your prize when it arrives mate
Phil.
It really was so hard to choose but in the end Ben's epic tale of Tena Lady, fruit and death won out. PM me your address and I'll get your prize posted to you Sir
A special mention must go to the following members; in no particular order:
- Muddymusic
- Stevearcade
- Pac-Man
- Equites (
)
@Ben - it would be cool if you could post a picture of you with your prize when it arrives mate
Phil.
neo-geo-mvs
Active member
congrats Ben. Nice one Jodo to
Well deserved ben. Top effort
stevearcade
The Trevor Horn of UKVAC
Congratulations Ben. Very much deserved. Was a very funny read.
G
Guests
Guest
Nice one Ben
Weird thread but a bit of a laugh
Nice prize Phil!
Weird thread but a bit of a laugh
Nice prize Phil!
28 Fruits Later.....
By now the Squilla Inc. had over taken the fresh orange juice market from Del Monte... The latest figures showed the company had a 76% share of the market... Now in the future OJ was a high value item, it was worth more than gold on the markets... Oranges changed hands for about £1,900 each. There was a reason, the reason was Squilla. He had single handedly 'squeezed' out the competition, whether it be by aggressive company take overs (the Man from Del Monte hasn't sh*t right since their meeting) or by fire and lots of it.
In memory of Jodo's passing Mrs Jodo had set up The Banana Foundation. It was a small freehold close to Jodo's grave. Everyday she tended to the banana trees knowing full well that banana smoothies were far better than that citrus crap.
Squilla hadn't let up with trying to close down The Banana Foundation, everyday, as before, an orange was delivered...
Mrs. Jodo knew this would never end and she had the strength to carry on, when she felt low all she thought about was the fun times, the times she had removing the skid marks from Jodo's badly soiled undies. She used to whistle or sing to herself, now whenever times got tough, that's exactly what she would do, whistle or sing.
Squilla had tried every tactic in the book going, however, as a Foundation, a charitable Foundation she had backing. The main backer was Sony. They had gone all retro and re-released the Sony PS Vita... Their full backing made her financially strong and thinking about the skiddy undercrackers she was mentally strong...
Sony even released a press photo showing support for The Banana Foundation...
It was a Wednesday, as Mrs Jodo went round doing the usual checks she thought... Deep thought.... Then it hit her... Someone had thrown an orange over the fence and it got her square on the temple. She dropped like a stone, out cold.
Whilst out cold she dreamed, restless dreams, the face, it appeared again... This time though it had a message...The face, well it was Jodo's, all scrunched up like he had a case of constipation.
"Avenge me, I need justice...."
"But how..."
"Come to my grave and bring a banana..."
Then it began to rain and rain hard.... Only it wasn't rain....
She awoke, water being poured over her... Lay down amongst the banana trees.
"She's coming round," she heard. She was back in the safety of The Foundation.... the water had been thrown on her by Brenda, faithful employee for all those years.
"Do you want a doctor?" said Brenda. "No," she replied, "I'm fine."
A few days passed till Mrs. Jodo felt back to her best. She had remembered the message.... "Come to my grave and bring a banana..."
She got up and went straight out to the tree that bore the best fruit and chose the biggest banana she could find and gripped it tight. Off she went, not thinking, straight to the grave of Jodo. She hadn't been there for years, it was all overgrown after years of abandonment. She still knew the way.
When she reached the orange tree with the plaque she carefully placed the banana down...
"Here you go, as promised."
Then back to The Foundation, back to her daily duties... Keeping Jodo's memory alive...
It rained hard that night, a full storm... Thunder then lightening... Mrs. Jodo was awake looking through the window towards where her husband lay. All of a sudden a massive flash of light... The orange tree above his resting place was struck... Luckily no flames.... The stormed seemed to be easing off so she relaxed.... Time for bed....
The next day came sooner than expected... Mrs. Jodo went round her usual duties, whistling and singing to herself. Then a voice... it was Brenda, "Come quick Mrs Jodo, come quick!"
She turned and headed to the house where the voice was beckoning from.
As she reached her house she heard the television... BBC News reporting on the death of Squilla, not many details... Apparently the police were investigating...
She thought for a minute then ran, ran as fast as she could... to the resting place of her beloved...
The orange tree had been hit by lightning during the storm the night before the plaque was now a molten mess and a large hole had appeared.
"The grave..." she cried.... "It's empty..."
She returned to the house on the grounds on the Foundation, by now more information had come through....
"It is believed Squilla has died through suspicious circumstances and the police are investigating... Current reports seem to suggest he died from the insertion of a bent object in the nose."
"We will come back with more news on this matter when we have it"
5 minutes past.....
"We can now update you on the breaking news," the BBC reporter said, "a note has been found and we have been informed it says"Oranges are sh*t you bastard" Police believe it is a code and have now brought in their best squad to help crack the case."
Mrs Jodo smiled to herself.... Deep down she knew.... Justice had been served....
The definite end and prize pic above and thanks again Jodo and everyone else
- Ben
By now the Squilla Inc. had over taken the fresh orange juice market from Del Monte... The latest figures showed the company had a 76% share of the market... Now in the future OJ was a high value item, it was worth more than gold on the markets... Oranges changed hands for about £1,900 each. There was a reason, the reason was Squilla. He had single handedly 'squeezed' out the competition, whether it be by aggressive company take overs (the Man from Del Monte hasn't sh*t right since their meeting) or by fire and lots of it.
In memory of Jodo's passing Mrs Jodo had set up The Banana Foundation. It was a small freehold close to Jodo's grave. Everyday she tended to the banana trees knowing full well that banana smoothies were far better than that citrus crap.
Squilla hadn't let up with trying to close down The Banana Foundation, everyday, as before, an orange was delivered...
Mrs. Jodo knew this would never end and she had the strength to carry on, when she felt low all she thought about was the fun times, the times she had removing the skid marks from Jodo's badly soiled undies. She used to whistle or sing to herself, now whenever times got tough, that's exactly what she would do, whistle or sing.
Squilla had tried every tactic in the book going, however, as a Foundation, a charitable Foundation she had backing. The main backer was Sony. They had gone all retro and re-released the Sony PS Vita... Their full backing made her financially strong and thinking about the skiddy undercrackers she was mentally strong...
Sony even released a press photo showing support for The Banana Foundation...
It was a Wednesday, as Mrs Jodo went round doing the usual checks she thought... Deep thought.... Then it hit her... Someone had thrown an orange over the fence and it got her square on the temple. She dropped like a stone, out cold.
Whilst out cold she dreamed, restless dreams, the face, it appeared again... This time though it had a message...The face, well it was Jodo's, all scrunched up like he had a case of constipation.
"Avenge me, I need justice...."
"But how..."
"Come to my grave and bring a banana..."
Then it began to rain and rain hard.... Only it wasn't rain....
She awoke, water being poured over her... Lay down amongst the banana trees.
"She's coming round," she heard. She was back in the safety of The Foundation.... the water had been thrown on her by Brenda, faithful employee for all those years.
"Do you want a doctor?" said Brenda. "No," she replied, "I'm fine."
A few days passed till Mrs. Jodo felt back to her best. She had remembered the message.... "Come to my grave and bring a banana..."
She got up and went straight out to the tree that bore the best fruit and chose the biggest banana she could find and gripped it tight. Off she went, not thinking, straight to the grave of Jodo. She hadn't been there for years, it was all overgrown after years of abandonment. She still knew the way.
When she reached the orange tree with the plaque she carefully placed the banana down...
"Here you go, as promised."
Then back to The Foundation, back to her daily duties... Keeping Jodo's memory alive...
It rained hard that night, a full storm... Thunder then lightening... Mrs. Jodo was awake looking through the window towards where her husband lay. All of a sudden a massive flash of light... The orange tree above his resting place was struck... Luckily no flames.... The stormed seemed to be easing off so she relaxed.... Time for bed....
The next day came sooner than expected... Mrs. Jodo went round her usual duties, whistling and singing to herself. Then a voice... it was Brenda, "Come quick Mrs Jodo, come quick!"
She turned and headed to the house where the voice was beckoning from.
As she reached her house she heard the television... BBC News reporting on the death of Squilla, not many details... Apparently the police were investigating...
She thought for a minute then ran, ran as fast as she could... to the resting place of her beloved...
The orange tree had been hit by lightning during the storm the night before the plaque was now a molten mess and a large hole had appeared.
"The grave..." she cried.... "It's empty..."
She returned to the house on the grounds on the Foundation, by now more information had come through....
"It is believed Squilla has died through suspicious circumstances and the police are investigating... Current reports seem to suggest he died from the insertion of a bent object in the nose."
"We will come back with more news on this matter when we have it"
5 minutes past.....
"We can now update you on the breaking news," the BBC reporter said, "a note has been found and we have been informed it says"Oranges are sh*t you bastard" Police believe it is a code and have now brought in their best squad to help crack the case."
Mrs Jodo smiled to herself.... Deep down she knew.... Justice had been served....
The definite end and prize pic above and thanks again Jodo and everyone else
- Ben
