Jodo
- Thread starter Squilla
- Start date
AndyGeezer
Active member
The clue is in that photo!!
You defriended the guy on Facebook because he beat you at Mario kart 8!
They don't call me Sherlock for nothing!
You defriended the guy on Facebook because he beat you at Mario kart 8!
They don't call me Sherlock for nothing!
Thefro9 said:ben76 said:Hmmm... Love interest.... you mean Jodo and Squilla isn't enough! Chopper crash would need Arnie and 3D... That would need Brendan Fraser and dinosaurs... Not usre the budget will strech to thatThefro9 said:+1 for Ben.
PS. We just need a love interest ( for the chicks ) and a chopper crash ( blokes ), can you do it so the movie could be filmed in 3D?
- Ben
Squilla could get transferred to prison via a chopper and make a daring escape causing a crash.
The love interest could come from the sexy shrink in prison that helps him escape via a prison vs prison Sega game off.
Yes! A cross between
With this ref:
Due the overwhelming response to this thread, I have decided that the prize will now also include:
- A sealed envelope that will contain (on expensive writing paper no less) the truth about why I de-friended Squilla. This is a one of a kind item and has not been seen before by anyone!
- A signed photo of me, with a special personalised message to the winner
- A pair of socks and or underpants - size XXL
- Possibly some chocolate
Will they be new or used? Hopefully the winner will get to choose (yay, please be me!).Jodo said:
So it turns out 'Jodo' has a much more smutty meaning than one might have expected. I for one assumed the name was due to his cunning wit and silent, yet deadly moves and was so taken from the ancient martial art.
But no. It is thus:
""JODO - Jack Off Doors Open
Typically in Bays or Dormitories where there is a requirement to have the doors open during certain periods of the day. Members masturbate in their room with the doors open The goal is to not get caught by people traversing through the corridors and happening to look into your room and see you playing JODO or jodo'ing.
JODO can be used as verb, noun, and pretty much in any way that grammatically makes sense.
"The next JODO Tournament will be during the SAMI"
"We are going to hit up Club JODO tonight!"
"Did you hear about Frank? He got caught JODO'ing and is now getting an indecent exposure violation""
I think we can all put two and two together to see what really happened, and how the name 'Jodo' was earned in those heady days years ago when our two chaps were at Uni together.
The memory had been locked deep down in their minds until an unfortunate incident with an exploding yoghurt at a recent meet brought the whole thing back. Both guys went their separate ways in silence and Jodo realised the only way to make sure this could never be talked of again was to destroy the evidence and delete from Facebook the poor chap who'd been minding his own business in the opposite room that fateful day and thus hope to cover up the whole sordid event forever.
But Google can keep no secrets, and the deep and dark history is clear.
I believe the lesson here is if you fancy having a quick 'Space harrier' please shut the door.
Part 3.....
Many years had past.... It was now the year 2076. Jodo had remained at the Moot Retirement home. Things hadn't gone smoothly since that fateful day in the Autumn of 2048... Everyday a package had arrived for him, always the same, always an orange. At first he just dismissed it, but now 28 years later and more oranges had been delivered than the Del Monte man had ever had the pleasure of caressing.
Jodo went through his usual daily routine....
Wake up...
Have a dump...
Knock one out on top of it to save flushes, he affectionately called it "Icing the chocolate cake"...
Have a coffee...
Knock one out...
Go for breakfast...
Jodo had already given his order for breakfast the previous evening.
Brown toast 3 slices
Sugar Puffs 1 bowl (he liked how it made his wee smell of Sugar Puffs)
Definitely NO ORANGE JUICE OR MARMALADE.
Then signing it off in his usual style an erect member shooting forth a few driplets.
He went to sit down for his breakfast at his usual spot. Today was different, today there was someone sat there. It was his shrink Sandra Bullock, she knew about Jodo's sordid past, caught exposing himself at the monastery, taking candy from babies. She knew it all. She knew he had unfriended Squilla all those years ago. Jodo hadn't trusted anyone since the evening with Squilla but she had managed to get him into bed, the way most shrinks do in the movies, casual chat then bang straight into bed.
He sat down and winked at Sandra and began "Even though I've choked my chicken twice today, I'm feeling fruity..."
Little did he know Sandra's real name was Sandra Squilla. "Hold your horses," she said, "at least eat your Sugar Puffs first, you know how I love it when you wee smells just like them."
Jodo agreed and began eating. He didn't know that the cereal had been laced with poison.
Jodo began to feel a tight pain in his heart... Oh my god this is it he thought.... All those cigars and pulling my pud... It's the end...
He reached out to Sandra, she calmly spoke to him.... "Remember Squilla.. Well he's my husband. You have eaten rat poison and its time to die"
"Feck" gasped Jodo as he keeled over for the last time, drawing his final breath....
10 years later some kids are riding their bikes through an old graveyard when they happen across a tree bearing the most beautiful, juicy oranges ever seen.
"Wow, look at them," They declare, heading toward the tree. When they get close enough they notice a plaque attached to it... It read....
"Here lies Jodo
He makes the juiciest oranges ever"
THE END
- Ben
Many years had past.... It was now the year 2076. Jodo had remained at the Moot Retirement home. Things hadn't gone smoothly since that fateful day in the Autumn of 2048... Everyday a package had arrived for him, always the same, always an orange. At first he just dismissed it, but now 28 years later and more oranges had been delivered than the Del Monte man had ever had the pleasure of caressing.
Jodo went through his usual daily routine....
Wake up...
Have a dump...
Knock one out on top of it to save flushes, he affectionately called it "Icing the chocolate cake"...
Have a coffee...
Knock one out...
Go for breakfast...
Jodo had already given his order for breakfast the previous evening.
Brown toast 3 slices
Sugar Puffs 1 bowl (he liked how it made his wee smell of Sugar Puffs)
Definitely NO ORANGE JUICE OR MARMALADE.
Then signing it off in his usual style an erect member shooting forth a few driplets.
He went to sit down for his breakfast at his usual spot. Today was different, today there was someone sat there. It was his shrink Sandra Bullock, she knew about Jodo's sordid past, caught exposing himself at the monastery, taking candy from babies. She knew it all. She knew he had unfriended Squilla all those years ago. Jodo hadn't trusted anyone since the evening with Squilla but she had managed to get him into bed, the way most shrinks do in the movies, casual chat then bang straight into bed.
He sat down and winked at Sandra and began "Even though I've choked my chicken twice today, I'm feeling fruity..."
Little did he know Sandra's real name was Sandra Squilla. "Hold your horses," she said, "at least eat your Sugar Puffs first, you know how I love it when you wee smells just like them."
Jodo agreed and began eating. He didn't know that the cereal had been laced with poison.
Jodo began to feel a tight pain in his heart... Oh my god this is it he thought.... All those cigars and pulling my pud... It's the end...
He reached out to Sandra, she calmly spoke to him.... "Remember Squilla.. Well he's my husband. You have eaten rat poison and its time to die"
"Feck" gasped Jodo as he keeled over for the last time, drawing his final breath....
10 years later some kids are riding their bikes through an old graveyard when they happen across a tree bearing the most beautiful, juicy oranges ever seen.
"Wow, look at them," They declare, heading toward the tree. When they get close enough they notice a plaque attached to it... It read....
"Here lies Jodo
He makes the juiciest oranges ever"
THE END
- Ben
As the kids jump for the ripe oranges and land back to earth with the golden prize in there grasp a rotten hand erupts like a viper from the ground surrounded by a dry dust cloud. With a vice like clamp around the shocked child's leg.
Screams ring out in a bloody cry then abruptly stop! Then all that can be heard is a low monotone
Bannnnnnanna.
( had to edit as did in a rush this morning at work lol )Thefro92014-06-07 14:49:45
Screams ring out in a bloody cry then abruptly stop! Then all that can be heard is a low monotone
Bannnnnnanna.
( had to edit as did in a rush this morning at work lol )Thefro92014-06-07 14:49:45
