Part 4
Before we get to
Room
2, let’s rewind a little and talk about
excitement
for a moment. There are many different forms of excitement I guess, of which
‘alarm’ is one. Alarm is exactly what I felt when, at 2am back in my hotel the
night before the raid, I am forcibly grabbed by the legs, ripped from my
slumber to the sound of “
RAID! RAID! IT’S
A RAID!!!”
Raid? I thought it was the end of the world. A huge and very
hairy man was pulling me out of bed whilst shouting said utterance at the top
of his voice. I not sure what the point of this activity was or why he felt the
need to remind me of why we were there. At 2am.
“
No! NO! Get the F**K
off me! I was asleep, you tw*t!!”
Concerned by this point that the removal of the duvet was
imminent, I grabbed the top of it and pulled with all my might, terrified that
‘
Mr Jingles’ (use your imagination)
was going to make an unannounced personal appearance. He wouldn’t be taking
autographs. The tactic worked or at last it appeared to and I was, to far
too much merriment, allowed to slip
peacefully back into the darkness.
“RAID!!! IT’S A RAID!!
WHOOO!! RAID!!”
Approximately 10 minutes had passed. My attacker (let’s call
him that, yes) had waited until I was asleep for a
second time and decided to remind me again of our glorious
adventure.
“Will you PLEASE F**K
OFF!”
It was a long night.
So then,
Room 2.
Actually it’s a bit of a stretch to call it a room at all. In yet another unlit
part of the building we encounter a stage. Stages are all the same really;
massive dusty red velour curtains with gold trim, hanging unevenly and making
me think of the time that Barry Smethurst took me behind them at school to show
me his Stretch Armstrong, (he wanted to see how far we could stretch it).
Behind the main platform and I suspect where the performers used to get changed
in-between acts, somebody had built a makeshift room using large pieces of MDF,
nailing them together to form an effective store room. In theory this was a
solid idea but in practice they had forgotten to fashion a key element.
A door.
“
How are we going to
get in there then?”
“
Get a drill; we’ll
unscrew a couple of panels and make a double doorway to bring the cabs out.”
Now we didn’t know the contents of what was behind these panels;
apart from a sneakily grabbed phone cam pic one of the Raid Leaders had
snaffled by standing on tiptoe and sticking his hand in a gap. For the most
part this was unexplored territory; it had been impossible to fully catalogue
what was in there as there was no way of gaining access prior to this point.
Raid Leader#2 returns with an electric
drill with screwdriver function and begins to remove the screws from the panel
edges. This goes relatively well but somewhat slowly. Some of the screws are
cross threaded. The troops are getting restless, which is why what happens next
is a welcome if totally unexpected surprise. The driver of the 40 footer that’s
been hired for the morning appears, quickly assesses the situation and then gets
to work physically wrenching the panels off with his bare hands. He’s a big chap.
The entire wooden frame starts to bend, creak and shift, including the whole of
the front of the stage. I have 2 options here; I can either shout ‘
Wait! Stop, the stage is coming down!’
or I can quietly step back and hope for the best.
I move my arse to the wall and whisper a few words of
encouragement before summoning a fake *
cough*
and taking a sudden interest in the light switches over the other side of the
room, away from splintering wood. It’s still quite dark so I flick a few
switches. Nothing. I flick a few more and there is the distant sound of some
machinery powering up; I hastily look around to see if anyone has spotted me
but no, everyone is standing mouths agape whilst the
huge truck driver rips MDF panels off with his teeth. I’ve no idea
what that sound was but apparently I’ve just switched something on in another
part of the building. I pause for a moment, imagining an airlock scene where an
innocent worker is minding his own business, before suddenly and violently
being sucked out into space because some idiot in another part of the spaceship pushed a switch he shouldn’t have. I watch too many space films.
“
OMG!” somebody
cries.
Some of you may have noticed I have a certain affection for
Space Harrier; it’s no exaggeration to say
that I once owned 7 SH cabs of varying types. Nothing could prepare me for the
sight in front of me right now however. Standing in the front of the newly
revealed room were two full size motion sit down Space Harrier Deluxe cabs. I
am, quite literally, aroused.
“
Jodo, get in there!”
I do.
My erect nudger brushes up against somebody as I squeeze through
the crowd and I quickly apologise for ‘standing on his foot’; it’s all I can
think about in the spur of the moment but it appears to work. When I get to the
front
Raid Leader #3 is already sitting
atop one of the Harrier’s, with his arms spread wide in a gang sign posture and
there are flashes from phone cameras to record the moment. I gaze at the
machines from front to back, following the line of the artwork, along the sides
and up and over the seat section. I am in grail heaven. I cannot possibly think
of a scenario where 2 of these rare beasts ended up next to one another, walled
in by MDF and forgotten about for years.
There are other treasures in here though and the group
splits into people shining torches and people fetching and carrying. Somebody
shouts out a time check and everyone pushes things up a notch. Whoever filled
this area was not particularly bothered about preservation it seems as we
encounter cabs stacked upon other cabs, stacked on exercise bikes, stacked on
monitors, which are ALL stacked on yet more boxes and an office desk. It’s
potentially dangerous and it’s easy to forget what we are actually doing here;
there is a LOT of heavy metal and vacuumed glass all piled on top of each other.
And it’s dark. Glimpses of artwork and cab parts ferry past one another in the
dim light….
Time Traveller, Tempest Cocktail, a WG6100, a
pinball of
some description, a seat for
Star Rider and a
Warlords Cocktail.
The Space Harrier’s take 4 of us to move and a pneumatic lift
to get them across the threshold to the waiting truck. I'm helping of course
but as we heave and pull the machines this way and that across the bumpy
gravel, one thing is clear in my mind. I must have one of these Harriers...
Jodo2015-04-11 14:27:28